Lara's Singapore Blog

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Singapore sex blog

I see from my blog statistics that there’s a steady of trickle of people who find this site by googling “Singapore sex blog.”  God, how disappointed they must be.  But I’ll do my best, speaking as a monogamous married type who keeps early hours and lives about an hour’s ride from the red-light districts.

Yes, Virginia, there IS sex in Singapore!  And if you can’t get to the hotels and red-light districts, you can always call an escort service.

Our neighbor downstairs avails himself of such a service fairly regularly – we know because every week or so we’d hear an odd yelping noise from his open windows that went on for about an hour and a half.  I could recognize the yelper’s voice from week to week, although early on I mistook her for a chihuahua.  The poor girl tried to sound enthusiastic, but after about 40 minutes of intense attention from the guy she would start to flag.  We haven’t heard from her for a while, so I guess he’s found a quieter helper.

My badminton-partner neighbor, who’s lived here for 8 years and knows the dirt on everyone, says that the downstairs guy often travels to Cambodia and brings back bar girls.  He also, apparently, indulges in aphrodisiacs, which I’m sure you can pick up in the many Chinese herbal shops that abound in every mall and shopping center.  Or maybe he has a connection at Pfizer and can get Viagra cheap.  How does my neighbor know this?  I think her maid talks to his maid.  The great chain of gossip, reliably sourced.  There are no secrets from those who take out the garbage and do the laundry.

What else can I tell you?  The local 24-hour shop on campus, which sells bread, milk and noodles, also stocks condoms and a spray-on condom lubricant.  Durex. They are displayed in a rack next to the cash register, and the rack bears a happy little condom mascot: imagine the man who used to dress up as a Fig Newton on TV ads, but in a white costume with a little curly bump on top of his head.

Now and then there are condom ads on the MRT – great big pictures of fully-inflated condomsover a meter long, scrolling over the train doors.  What did my offspring of tender years make of this?  I’m not sure.  I don’t think they teach sex ed in schools here – unlike in New Zealand where every twelve-year-old gets hands-on practice rolling (or is that unrolling?) a condom over a banana – but I doubt that there’s a lot of mystery left for kids in Singapore anyway.

Oh, and at the university’s Sports and Recreation Center there are posters advising students to get lots of exercise, stay focused on their studies, and if they have to indulge in sex, to do it nicely and use condoms.

It’s unlikely that I’ll find out anything else on this topic, but if I do, you’ll be the first to know.

Bon Appetite!

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